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ONE HUNDRED SAYINGS (A Satire.)
1) Life is an illusion for the rich, a reality to the poor. Feb 3/11.
2) When one person commits a crime another person solves it. When a nation commits a crime it become the new law. Feb 3/11.
3) Marriage is the division of self into the company of strangers, of which you are one yourself.
Feb 3/11.
4) Politics: the way to beat a man to death without using your fists. Feb 3-6/11.
5) Why should a beggar pray to God? A rich man doesn’t pray to his banker. Feb 3/11.
6) A cat and a mouse have this in common, they kill their children on human sins. Feb 3/11.
7) If I wanted an honest answer would I really ask it from a man, a woman, or a god? Feb 3/11.
8) No problem is so dreary an opportunity cannot solve it. For the problem of sex nature created children. Feb 3/11.
9) Evil; whatever happens to you that should have happened to someone else. Feb 3/11.
10) Hell; being stuck with relatives and strangers in the same room forever. Feb 3/11.
11) Poetry; the means to say as much as possible without anyone ever listening. Feb 3/11.
12) A lion in the savanna mirrors any tyrant: lazy in all ways except the spilling of blood. Feb 3/11.
13) The ability to eat has this limitation over the rest; we are stuck with whatever we love and our body hates, and love what we eat all the same. Feb 3/11.
14) If a butterfly becomes drunk is it any less beautiful? Answer me again when you’ve seen a woman drunk, or a man. Whom am I to judge? Feb 3/11.
15) What is the worst stain upon the human soul? Originality, else why would it be condemned by so many? Feb 3-6/11.
16) Metal bleeds flesh and flesh bleeds words, so what do words bleed when they are cut? They bleed thought, and thought bleeds all things in turn. Feb 3/11.
17) Give us a child to set our heroes by, for everyone would think their son or daughter a hero when they are first dead, but never when they’re alive. Feb 3/11.
18) A galaxy is a wheel of stars and a star a wheel of light. But what is light a wheel of, if not darkness in its self appointed time, like an ignorant mind. Feb 3/11.
19) To annoy a person is to find their innermost weakness without realizing it, at one’s peril. Feb 3-6/11.
20) Sex is an act bound in time; each time one has sex closer one realizes they won’t want sex with this person anymore. Unless they’re very lucky. Feb 3/11.
21) Philosophy; the means by which one ignores reality by trying to understand reality. Feb 3/11.
22) To carry a great weight acclimates one to the weight, but when the burden is a lost and torn heart what else can be felt if not the pain of it? Feb 3-6/11.
23) In order to forget one must first remember something must be worth remembering. That is why history bores so many. Feb 3/11.
24) Perception is reality when reality is naked of itself. Feb 3/11.
25) If I kill a man I am guilty of a crime. If I watch a man die on screen I am blameless, even if I want that man to die. Why should intent be less valuable than action? Because all people are cowards in their own ways and of their own accords. Feb 3-6/11.
26) Second description of philosophy; confusion married to inspiration, previously divorced from commonsense. Feb 3/11.
27) Gender is not a division; it is a door. Feb 3/11.
28) Pornography was not created to satisfy lust, it was created to satiate the hunger of loneliness for a time. Feb 3-6/11.
29) Hero; whoever could do all others want to do while being punished because no one else has the courage to do it. Feb 3/11.
30) Lose something to your detriment, except your sins. Feb 3/11.
31) Death; the break between two meals, or the bill for a well made feast. Feb 3/11.
32) Truth; whatever else can survive the most brutal of tyrannies, except of course for lies. Feb 3/11.
33) The good is one step lower than the good for myself. Feb 3/11.
34) True and good must always be true and good for the least among us; that is why it never is, in this world. Feb 3/11.
35) Skeptic; one who denies all, even their own existence. Feb 3/11.
36) Believer; one who wants there to be a god in order to take all responsibility from themselves.
Feb 3/11.
37) Mirror; delusion reduced to a sheet of reflective glass. Even what one sees is not actually there. Feb 3/11.
38) Self; delusion writ large, all of one’s life dwarfing the lives of all others for no reason at all.
Feb 3/11.
39) Liar; the ability to imagine the sky is red at noon and still try to say it’s blue, in order to convince others of what you have not imagined to be true. Feb 3/11.
40) Light; the absence of darkness to set one’s life by. Feb 3/11.
41) Opera; the means by which tragedy is transcended to comedy all over again. Feb 3/11.
42) Heaven; boredom simplified to grandiosity. Feb 3/11.
43) Nowhere; where all roads lead when no one has anywhere else to go. Feb 3/11.
44) Power; the only narcotic no one can escape from, even after death to those who knew them.
Feb 3/11.
45) Democracy; the sleeping giant irritated by a gadfly, without ever waking up. Feb 3/11.
46) Terrorism; the final fad before conformity. Feb 3/11.
47) Love; the only pain never salved by its opposite. Feb 3/11.
48) Gun; the last resort of the coward, or the first. Feb 3/11.
49) The first law everyone ignores if they try to survive; a noble deed is equally balanced against a mortal life. Feb 3/11.
50) Hate; the only narcotic never outlawed by the state. Feb 3/11.
51) The greatest game; the shadow of an empire ignoring its own misdeeds while trying to cling onto power against all sane and insane odds. Feb 3/11.
52) Sex without love, the beginning of most marriages, or divorces. Feb 3/11.
53) Second definition of pornography; the key reason technology ever moves forward. Feb 3/11.
54) Feast; the meal one doesn’t need for a cause and purpose one doesn’t understand. Feb 3/11.
55) Judaism; a faith brutalized by belief in its own special divinity, and a sign that all human societies have the potential to survive all and any odds, despite their deity. Feb 3/11.
56) Africa; a land so much like Europe, both blighted by a blind and grasping religion; capitalism. Feb 3/11.
57) Pain; the reason most people know they are alive, irrespective of whether they want to or not. Feb 3/11.
58) Homosexuality; no more annoying than anyone else trying to get laid without knowing they aren’t really that charming or attractive. Feb 3-6/11.
59) Slut; a term which implies one will have sex with anyone. Wife; a term which means one won’t have sex with anyone. Husband; someone who lusts for the former while superficially choosing the latter. Feb 3/11.
60) Age; the only reason civilization contemplates its end and seeks to do more with the less time they have. Feb 3/11.
61) Rudeness; the only leveling act between two great or lesser enemies. Kindness; the only truly immoral act between a friend and one deserving respect while receiving only pity. Feb 3-6/11.
62) Relief; the act of knowing the executioner has chosen someone else. Feb 3/11.
63) Science; a turning away of superstitions toward other, less demented superstitions. Feb 3/11.
64) Humour; the act of dying eloquently, before being hit by a pie in the face. Feb 3/11.
65) Execution; the act of choosing someone other than one’s self. Martyrdom; the opportunity to make sure no one can be chosen. Feb 3/11.
66) Christianity; the greatest example of belief transfigured to cliche. Feb 3/11.
67) Order; the end of history. Chaos; the end of rationality. Feb 3/11.
68) Dogs; the only companion trusted above one’s self, justifiably. Feb 3/11.
69) Theater; the only honest representation of human existence and experience. Feb 3/11.
70) Exercise; the bane of the 20th century. Feb 3/11.
71) Women; no different than men in all respects. That is why misogynists first despise themselves. Feb 3/11.
72) Communication; the only way to say what you want without anyone ever really listening or understanding the message there of. Feb 3/11.
73) Prison; the only way to waste bricks, mortar, money and time in order to make no one happy.
Feb 3/11.
74) Possessions; held on by the briefest whisper, moving from one person to another, fought over incessantly, serene throughout it all. Feb 3/11.
75) Tolitarianism; the promise of the future paid for by the raping of the present. Feb 3/11.
76) Euthanasia; the only crisis fought over and argued against by those who don’t have a stake in the outcome. Feb 3/11.
77) Fiction; the only reality that truly, deeply matters to everyone. Feb 3/11.
78) Fear; the one drug money can’t buy, no matter how hard we try. Feb 3/11.
79) Time; the way of all flesh caught in the undertow of unbeing. Feb 3/11.
80) Satire; the desire to twist the knife in slowly to those who deserve it least. Feb 3/11.
81) Anger; the justification of being alone. Feb 4/11.
82) What is sacred if not the profane mind, reformed to everyone’s benefit but one’s own? Feb 4/11.
83) Food; the reason civilizations turns against itself, or rather the lack there of. Feb 4/11.
84) Mythology becomes religion when uncertainty and imagination is replaced by bland conformity. Feb 4/11.
85) The gods are not; humanity creates the gods that have then created humanity. Feb 4/11.
86) Hypocrisy; the only form of sanity available when righteousness is considered a form of suicide. Feb 4/11.
87) Deception; the most significant reason love does not immediately always sour. Feb 4/11.
88) Angels; the intermediary between righteous action and a sadistic and twisted deity. Feb 4/11.
89) Lawyers; the new priesthood which so much resembled the old. Both try to destroy those who worship the ideals they claim to comprehend. Feb 4/11.
90) Islam; a faith experiencing a dark age in a dark age, a lost world stranded in a lost world.
Feb 4/11.
91) Sadism; when empathy is dead what is left to believe in if not the breaking of another human soul? Feb 4/11.
92) Sociopathy; the absence of a soul married to the sentiments of a demon. Feb 4/11.
93) Loss; the moment when one realizes they are not a god, and not everything is theirs to possess or have or control. Feb 4/11.
94) Alone; being the last person in the world in the company of strangers. Feb 4/11.
95) Accomplishment; the ending of striving toward ignominity. Feb 4/11.
96) War; the logic of murder amplified by the infantilism of greed. Feb 4/11.
97) Victory; an enemy’s neck beneath your heel, waiting for the axe to sever your own throat in turn. Feb 4/11.
98) Insect; the point when survival is overturned against survival, leading always to victory and defeat. Feb 4/11.
99) Incest; the point when sex is overturned against sex, leading always to taboo sheltered by a bland and blind conformity. Feb 4/11.
100) Second definition of self; the delusion that you exist as a single being, moving toward a perfect end, sheltered by fate to always have all things end well for you, even when they don’t. Or am I being too optimistic do you think, yourself? Feb 4/11.
